Why should men have all the fun?

A common scene seen in the villages and some part of the towns. Only the girls are taught with the art of making garlands.

Equality can be achieved at it’s best and not everywhere; that doesn’t need much explanation. But the possible areas to be tapped are still more. Women should see some things as a public issue. They are not only women’s problems.
Let’s forget the gender balance for a while. Is there a balance among women themselves – urban women and rural women? How many of us treating the house maid as a woman? When she takes off, aren’t we nosy about her family?
A woman should be treated fairly right from the home. Mothers should teach their daughters on what is confidence before their daughters expects them to be treated fairly by their in-laws.
On the other hand the recent #MeToo has a positive welcome despite it had a few false reports. This would definitely be an alarm in the society.
In my opinion, the cricket game should have the diversity wherein four or five women players should be part of each team like the mixed-double in tennis. Otherwise the women cricket will remain the same with the less viewership and the Mithaly Raj will remain unnoticed by all of us. Why should Sachin and Virat have all the fun? Have we ever wondered why is no woman music composer? Bhavatharini, daughter of the legendary music director Ilayaraja, had once tried but she couldn’t withstand. You could remember the veteran singer S.Janaki had denied the award as she was recognized with a considerable delay. This is what dignity and she should be proud of not accepting the award.

Sculpture of Arthanareeswarar, Brihdeeswarar Temple, Tanjavur

In Indian mythology, fundamentally there is a flaw. The Lord Shiva who has given His one part to Goddess Parvathy is known as ‘Arthanareeswaran’. Why not is it known as a human form where it’s shared by both Shiva and Parvathy? Until then, the male chauvinism will not vanish from the people mind where we have been trained to go to temple since the very beginning of our life in the earth. What’s wrong in rewriting the mythology as it’s several times rewritten from the beginning by various communities.
Most of the corporate companies, nowadays, are changing the leave policy. Men can take paternity leave for few days based on their company’s policy when they are blessed with a child. Woman should be honestly thankful to such employers and keep their lamentation aside for a while. Tear the mask that influences the world – “beauty”. Replace this with “confidence”. If woman want to be appreciated for their courage and talent, the beauty products have to be neglected by women including models who act in the ad films.
Many women doesn’t show interest in participating physical activities conducted by their employers assuming they don’t deserve to play. But they should realize that physical activities will increase their confidence level like how a homemaker gains her confidence only through her household works.
Still in the middle-class families it’s common to compare a boy with his classmate who is a smart girl. If the girl scores higher marks, the mother of the boy questions him in her own comfortable colloquial language; you can assume the language based on your locality. – “When a giRRRL is scoring high marks, what happened to you to score less marks? Aren’t you ashamed?”. This is the first place where not only the boy is getting insulted but he is clearly taught the wrong lesson that girls should score lower than boys.
If you expect the change from men, you can only wait. In the meantime, teach your sons; from the root. Because #BoysAreBottlenecks.


Travel is Teaching.

I’m not going to describe my travel experience about every single day where we explore with the photos I click even though the beauty of the landscapes and the mountains are taking us to a different world.  I shall talk about the leanings from the pilgrimage – I would call it as ‘pill’grimage.



I didn’t worry like how I did a few years ago for such happenings. When I had a mild fear due to the doctor’s statement, the books I read came into my mind that made me relaxed. Those books said that almost ninety percent of the fear we have, will not come into real life. Even if something which you dislike will happen for sure, let’s worry when it dramatizes. So, till then you have time to live the way you want sans losing your peace of mind.

I started getting a sever pain from my left neck through the palm due to multiple reasons and I feel discussing about the reason is not so relevant here.  This is not allowing me to lay down.  I had to sleep in sitting posture and the pain would reach it’s peak between 2AM and 4AM during my entire trip of nine days coverage.

After finishing the trip, in Chennai, started the treatment.  If I’m suppose to spend the money and time, I have to accept it which I did with full acceptance.  Otherwise, taking this extra worry about spending money and time, would have added the fuel to the current discomfort.

I started thinking about the perfect neck and shoulder as I read in the LoA books.  Not sure if the medicines are helping me as intended. But I felt relaxed sans worry on what may happen. Thanks to the kind souls who suggest me the therapist. The therapist is one of the rarest persons who is polite and friendly.  When I talk to that young chap, half of my pain is vanished.  Yes! Now I’m able to sleep for five hours.  Started feeling normal and thanks to the well-wishers who gets the update from me often.


Sapt Kund, Bhadrinath

Stop worrying about the problems, if you want to get rid of it.  Start thinking about the solution.  Have a peaceful life.


அறிந்தும் அறியாமலும்

குழந்தையறியாது தன்னிலை மழலையென்று.

இயற்கையறியாது தன்னிடம் வளமென்று.

மலரறியாது தன்னிடம்

மரமறியாது தன் செயல்

விண்மீனறியாது தன்னுரு

என்றாலும் நீயறிவாய்
உன் பலமும் ஊன் பலமும்
உன்னிடம் பலவும்.
எவ்விடமும் பரவும்.
செயல் புரிவாய்

#tamil #kavithai

Face your facebook as a friend

Friend in need is a friend in deed” –  How can I tag this phrase with the a real life friend or a facebook friend or the Facebook itself?  It’s up to you based on you are connected with them.  Every single day, most of us face the ‘blue’ colored app in the morning like a Viswaroopa Darshan.   Have you ever thought what makes you to do that?  To read the feeds?  To count the likes?  To read the comments?  To check the new friend request?  To check the new message?  I’m sure you would’ve felt that most of these aren’t necessary.  But still such things, eating your time and makes your face ‘blue’.  Choose the best mask from the below how want to be seen.

Ball pen sketch by Barani Ganapathy

I am not going to explain technically how facebook is working or how facebook is using your data.  But I’m just sharing my observations and findings to beat the ‘blue’.  If you want to reduce the time you spend with facebook and yet to make use of it wisely, you may consider following the below.

  1. Follow only the like minded or required contacts. Because it’s okay to keep away from toxic people.  You should have your own definition for toxic 😉  To unfollow them, go to their profile > click the Following icon > click Unfollow icon.  What a relief – You won’t see any of their feeds.  But you can still open their profile and check what are they up to. blog1.jpg
  2. If you like a facebook page, if you find its no more interesting, you can unfollow without unlike.  You can follow the step 1.  There is no big difference between unlike and unfollow except that if you like a page, that says you are interested in that.
  3. If you are a member of a group, and if more notifications fills your facebook for each actions made by the other members, chances are high you can miss the important once from your closed friends.  Change the notification settings of that group to control it.   Go the group and you may click unfollow as you do in step 2.  Or you can select to receive only the ‘Highlights’ of the group activities.    To do that open the group > Edit Notification Settings > ‘Highlights’.


4. If you like a post you won’t get any notifications.   But if you comment, you will get as many number of notifications as the other comments it receives.  Same is applicable for groups.  In a few groups you might have seen comments from members with ‘following’ in text.  This says they don’t have anything to comment, but they are curious to follow the posts and want to read the comments by others.  Some people just type ‘hi’.

5. Number of notifications the app shows in the home screen will tempt you to open the app frequently.  Stop the notifications in facebook app if you don’t want to see the notification numbers at the corner of the app icon or in the notification bar.  The below are taken from Vivo V7+.  You may get different screen in your phone.


app notificaton



6. If you don’t want the posts your friends tags with you to appear on your timeline, you can make them visible/invisible on your timeline after reviewing.




By doing this, you can decide if the tagged post should appear in your timeline or not.

7. Use any of the apps that monitors and show you the report of your app usage times.   There are many good apps.  I let you to search and explore in playstore.

8. You can save the posts under a category or without category and view them later. So that you won’t miss that post and it’s easy to take it back even after long time.  It’s an useful pointer.  To save this, you can click the three dots at the top right to the post.  First menu item will be ‘Save Post’ and if you click this it will ask to which category it has to be saved.  Saving under a category is optional but you can still save it and find the saved posts in future from the menu as show below.  Remember the category option is not available in desktop version.saved.jpg


9. You can group your friends under lists.  So that you can make the visibility of your posts only with them.  You can tag a contact with more than one list.  To bring a friend under a list, click the ‘Friends’ icon on his/her profile > Edit friend list > add to the existing list or you can create a new list and assign.



Bring the friend the existing list or create a new and assign.

Now while creating a new post, you can change the visibility of your post by clicking the first button below your name.  You can avoid one or multiple individuals or lists.  It’s not to avoid them.  But not to disturb them. 🙂


10. Some contacts will show the mutual friends if you have and some may not.  If a friend is not showing as a mutual friend even though he/she is really mutual friend in facebook, that says the original friend kept his friend list secret.

11. From the events menu, you can forecast the friends birthday and plan in advance.  Because the birthday reminder will give you the notification only on that day.


The events list will show you the events and birthdays.    Not sure if iPhone’s facebook app will have the feature of exporting the events to phone calendar.  iPhone users can comment on this.

12.   Have you ever faced difficulty in searching the group to post?  Make a few groups alone as favorite, so that you can post on those groups easily.


13. When you receive your old post from last year same day, you may not repost as facebook suggests (if you do so, it will be posted as a new one).  Instead you can simply touch or click to open the original post and comment with anything.  It will appear on your friends feeds. This way you can bring any posts to their feeds.  More comments will make your post alive on your contacts feeds.  You may bring back any post if you remember a random date, too:


The ‘Done’ button will pull the post posted on that day.  Now you can comment or tag anyone and disturb them 🙂

14. If you add a new friend, see their about section before making a conversation, especially it will help you if they are famous or someone you look up to and admire.

15. Posting on your wall and tag a friend will only notify them to make them see your post on your wall.  It won’t be visible to their friends.  If you post directly on their wall, it will be visible to them and their friends and not to your friends unless you have mutual friends.

16. While trying to post with a photo, it’s a hectic job to browse the exact image which your are looking for.   To make it simple, open the image gallery from the phone and share with facebook.  You can either share it public or on your friends timeline or with a group.   In facebook app, its also difficult to post an image directly to a friend’s wall.  Use mobile browser with the link m.facebook.com to address this issue.  This way you can browse your phone’s gallery with folders listings.






You can select the folder from either your phone or memory card.

17. How to remove a name from the messenger after unfriend?   After removing a friend, it will still be listed in messenger.  To remove them permanently:

remove contact 2

remove contact 1

Reason for giving points on removal of contacts is to make your life simple.  Simplicity is not always adding good things but also removing unwanted things.  That’s how the sculptures are made, isn’t it?

Remove the ‘blue’ from the mind and keep it only in the app.  Happy facing.

Barani Ganapathy



I was wondering the moment I saw one of my friend wearing a glittering pair of formal shoes during this hot (!) summer.  Obviously he received many likes in Facebook after posting his selfie where the protagonist is of course the shoe.  And a lot of comments in-person too.

But when he reaches the office, he removes his shoes and starts his regular work.  Yes – removal of his shoe is also part of his regular work.

It brought me a visual and I drew the below in an A4 sheet with a black pen. Hope I no need to explain much.  Otherwise my cartoon doesn’t seem serve it’s purpose.

Drawn by Barani

Coming back to the shoes. Purpose of shoe in a country like India is to show-off or to get sweat or to be formal or to grab attention or to give them rest under the cabin?  Which is important, which is vital?

Later sometime, when I didn’t feel satisfied about the cartoon, it pushed me to write the below.

To write a poem, subject is vital;

medium is important.

To draw a picture, vision is vital;

wall is important.

To sing, voice is vital;

song is important.

To dance, expression is vital;

anklet is important.

To pilgrimage, path is vital;

vehicle is important.

To pray, God is vital;

temple is important.

But, feeling comfortable by

praising the important all the time

instead of the ‘vital’ !?


Barani Ganapathy